no bath

“Why would you do that Havana?” I asked, slumping beside the bathtub. She threw her long tail back and forth, made a noise like someone rolling her r’s. “Do you know how much mommy wanted to soak in Epsom salts tonight?” Her head cocked sideways. “Do you have any idea how tired I am?”

She actually looked kind of proud of the dried little turds she’d left in the tub. She continued to ‘rrr’ and flip her tail.

I looked down. Poor people don’t have the option to feel this queasy, I reminded myself. Nor do they – we, sorry – have the leeway necessary to declare ‘I shall never use this tub again, it has become soiled beyond comprehension.’

What do poor people have? Dollar store bleach.


amelia vs. stomach

“My stomach hurts,” Amelia told me, grimacing like a gargoyle. I don’t quite like the look of your face, I thought.

But I have pneumonia – my kindness reservoirs (yes, plural) are running, well, low. Still – “What’s wrong?” I asked, chiding myself a little internally. “I don’t know, I just have this really sticky poo, you know? The kind that feels like you’re never done pooing . . . hey Lola, are you coughing?”

“No,” I choked out, “I’m gagging. Remember how I told you my stomach’s off? As in, I’m nauseous, as in, good God why do I have to hear about that at work?” She stopped grimacing. “Well, it’s not like I was talking about something really gross, like you and ‘oh, poor Clary has mucus in his lungs’. Mucus is disgusting!”

And she turned quickly on her heel and left.

searches four

Another round of searches, fair readers (and the perhaps inevitable troll hiding in your ranks).

1) movie “hard bitch daycare” (Oh, so we’re talking about porn. We are talking about porn now, aren’t we? I wanted to believe it was an unreleased Sarah Jessica Parker vehicle.)

2) at it (Well, sure, why not. You don’t have to explain yourself, internets.)

3) if everyone naked (Probably more the result of entry-level philosophy than anything else.)

4) hd xart (No . . . idea.)

5) naked at daycare (This happens daily, definitely. Only it’s little kids and it involves poo.)

6) “hard bitch daycare” (You people are insatiable. I wonder, do you stay and read? Or just recoil in disappointment and move on?)